The Human Centipede

• HUMAN CENTIPEDE, THE (DVD MOVIE)

100% Medically accurate.
The compelling simplicity of Saw. The stylish dread of Eraserhead. The black humor of A Nightmare On Elm Street. Those are the benchmarks of horror that the outrageous Dutch film The Human Centipede matches. The plot is diabolically simple: two stranded American tourists are given shelter by a famed German doctor (a maniacally intense Dieter Laser) who made his fortune surgically separating conjoined twins. Now his mad genius is pushing the doctor to do the reverse. He tells the women that they will be surgically attached to a Japanese businessman mouth to buttocks, one after the other and thus will be born a new creature: the human centipede! Compellingly perverse, hilarious, and shockingly straightforward, Dutch director Tom Six s new film is hands-down the most memorable horror film of the year.Equal parts Cronenbergian body hor! ror, perverse fetish film, and E.C. Comics-style gross-out, The Human Centipede is Dutch director Tom Six's uniquely macabre endurance test for fans of modern fright fare. What's surprising about the picture isn't the premise--its story, about a madder-than-mad doctor (German actor Dieter Laser) who unites two American tourists (Ashley C. Williams and Ashlynn Yennie) and a Japanese counterpart (Akihiro Kitamura) in a hideous surgical procedure that creates the title monstrosity, was broadcast in detail across the Internet prior to its international theatrical screenings--but rather, the degree of reserve Six applies to depicting every excruciating detail. That's not to say that Human Centipede is a bloodless affair, but Six relies more on the physical endurance and talent of his actors to present the mortal terror of their predicament, which in turn offers a more terrifying experience for the viewer than anything dreamed up by a special effects team. The appro! ach also makes up for some of the more crassly exploitive mome! nts in t he film, like the doctor's relentless abuse of his creation, which is largely clad only in filthy underwear, and Laser's occasional overacting, which at its most heated, suggests an unholy, highly medicated hybrid of Klaus Kinski, Lance Henriksen, and the late Howard Vernon's awful Dr. Orlof. Obviously, this is not for the casual horror fan, and most definitely not for the squeamish; more hard-core types should find their nerves thoroughly rattled by the time the film reaches its darker-than-dark conclusion. A final, disturbing note: the complete title is The Human Centipede (First Sequence); a planned sequel reportedly promises a 12-segment (gulp) creation. --Paul Gaita

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House on Haunted Hill

• Condition: New
• Format: DVD
• Closed-captioned; Color; DVD; Widescreen; NTSC

When an eccentric millionaire offer a group of opposites $1,000,000 to spend the night in a so called "Haunted House" with a murderous past, they figure it is a quick way to get quick money and leave. All of them are sure it is some made up story just to mess with their heads a little and test their courage. But, once they stay in the house they start to think about the mistake they made in coming there when mysterious things start to happen.House on Haunted Hill is one of the new breed of waste-no-time thrill machines, like Deep Blue Sea, and a particularly effective example at that. The plot is pure contrivance: For a party stunt, a wealthy amusement-park manufacturer (Geoffrey Rush) offers five people a million dollars if they spend the night in a former insane asylum where the patients! murdered the sadistic staff. But it turns out the five people who arrive aren't the five he invited--did his wife (Famke Janssen), who hates him, make the switch? From there events unfold with a smart combination of human and supernatural machinations; spooky jolts are dispensed at regular, but not entirely predictable, intervals. The visual effects owe a considerable debt to Jacob's Ladder, a much more ambitious movie; House on Haunted Hill just wants to get under your skin, and succeeds more than you'd expect. Rush is his entertainingly hammy self; Janssen, Taye Diggs, Ali Larter, and Bridgette Wilson are attractive and reasonably straight-faced about it all; and Chris Kattan is genuinely funny as the house's neurotic owner. Some elements of the plot seem to have been lost in the editing process, but it hardly matters. More bothersome is that the scares go flat when computer effects take over at the end--the digital images just aren't as creepy as the more! suggestive stuff that came before. But that's just the very e! nd; most of the movie has a lot of momentum. Watch until the end of the credits for a final bit of eeriness. --Bret Fetzer

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